Flurries in a Haze of Mindless Uncertainty

Oh to be trapped in a world you once knew.
Strangers once friends, become numbers - cues
Chairs turned backwards, memories - hope,
the chance at growth.
Blurry eyes and knuckles raw, I watch the world in fearless awe.
A haze of uncertainty enshrouds the air
invisible yet deadly
there is no escape.
Hush my child, it will all be over soon.
When?
When…
When will the air be finally sweet 
the door unlocked, brazen faces exposed. 
When will hope be intact
the oppression diffused, the hatred crushed beneath humanity's heels?
When, oh when, will joy be restored?
-
Questions swirl above my head when I open this Pandora's box.
And when I spin in nauseous uncertainty, I
close the box and bury it within.
Deep
deep
too deep to find.
It hurts, it throbs, it encompasses my thoughts. This box is locked
and
I can't say which
is better.
-
Once I sat in mild defeat and sat on my hands 
(yes, hands, for then they were not fists)
can i return?
Joy, true joy, is from within.
Then why, oh why, can't I release it over me?
Where is Your hand when I need it most?
And then like a streak of lightning
the sudden thought illuminates my cavernous mind…
will it end if…
A bullet in a hat (see, it's empty)
No, not that.
My friend, nothing is that simple.
We're not here to twiddle our thumbs.
The thought carries faith and to indulge in it removes
the
faith?
I've said too much.
-
Words elude me
they've lost their sense.
I ponder them aimlessly, walking their lines.
But
I found my level on a line wrought with
emotion,
chaotic flurries of hot, sticky
tar. Bubbling over pots of mediocrity.
It's not so funny to watch yourself drown,
decorated with another's feathers and seething within.
A metaphor can't get far when you're not
 confused, 
amused,
trying a fluke.
My peace,
my stall,
my hope goes so far.
I cast my stone into the rippling brook and watch the circles span farther and farther into the vast unknown.
And when it stops
I shall
too.

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